Two Open Letters

Alice

Alice

 

Alice

 

To Potential new hires,

I want you to be responsible for the care, protection and quality of life for a hall full of people with a wide variety of physical and mental illnesses. Make sure they are clean and dry, supervise their gait, and make certain that their oxygen tanks are full and on the appropriate setting. If they have a doctor’s order for TED hose, please make sure they are on in a timely manner.

Because these folks are unwell, they are occasionally combative. We will offer no help to you in these matters, other than suggesting that you get another aid to help, if you can find one. Often, you won’t be able to because we have a bare staff. We are also desperate for help, so many of the people we DO hire are unable to lift and are squeamish about body fluids, so they will not be much help to you. We hope that you are not like that, but if you are, eh. You get what you pay for. Someone will pick up the slack. Someone always does.

We can’t promise that we’ll remember to tell you if your hall partner called out or your shift relief will be late. We are very important and busy people. You can’t expect us to value your time and effort enough to interrupt our own.

You will be covered in any number of body fluids, we will often run short of supplies and expect you to figure it out. As a matter of fact, we pretty much expect you to handle any situation with little or no input from us. Oh! We will make rules and change them without telling you and we will apply them with inconsistency, as we see fit. This applies to both you and the residents. There will be no raises. No benefits and no rewards for doing an excellent job. But there will also be very few consequences for doing terrible job. Life’s a balance. We’ll pay you 9.00 an hour. What do you say?

Sincerely,

Management

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To Potential new hires,

This job is tough. It is not for everyone. It will break you into a million pieces and teach you how to put yourself back together in ways you never thought possible, if you allow it.

There are facilities with kind, involved supportive management who offer substantial training and ample rewards for good work ethic. There are facilities with relatively calm residents who are not living with severe mental illness. This is not one of them, a fact that over time I have grown to appreciate, oddly enough. When there is no one willing to solve problems, it motivates you to first understand the problem and then figure out how to solve it yourself.

I have learned more about life, love, courage, vulnerability and perseverance than I could have in any other facility. I have explored, hand in hand with my residents, the subculture in which they live. I’ve learned to trust and be trusted. I’ve learned how to speak my truth, and more importantly, to speak theirs.

None of this will pay my bills, and there are times that I am resentful at the lack of pay, and basic lack of respect for what we do; a job that matters deeply to me is dismissed by those who should know better. I don’t wallow in that though, because I believe that WE can change that. If enough of us refuse to allow our pay rate to dictate our level of care, if we use the systems flaws and mismanagement to teach us how to problem solve and lead ourselves rather than embitter us enough to lose our empathy, then we really can make a difference. I believe this in my heart of hearts and truly hope that you will be a part of the solution. It’s easy to be a light in the day. My facility needs lights in the dark.

Sincerely,

Your fellow Caregiver