I don’t know how to live my life right now. EVERYTHING seems new. Opportunities abound and I feel such a potential for life’s possibilities. I started writing for this blog because I didn’t think it was ok for the system to collectively mistreat the most vulnerable among us and blowing the whistle on one facility did not have the effect I had hoped. Maybe it was providence that brought Yang, May and I together. Maybe it was Carl Jung’s theory of synchronicity or meaningful coincidence. I don’t know. I only know that for me, this continuing journey has become one of the most important, most valuable of my life. This opportunity that has allowed me to be part of a creative solution and concrete change. Together, the three of us get to reach others and express ideas that have long been buried under the false notion that caregivers and by proxy, those within our care are unworthy of being heard.
All I have ever wanted out of my life is to leave an impact that makes this world a little better than it was before I entered it. I get to be a part of this amazing adventure with Yang and May and with all of you, our readers. What could be better than that? Add to that a blossoming relationship with a long lost love, the opportunity to help a new group of young women new to recovery, and public speaking in New Orleans, and suddenly my life is unrecognizable.
Everything is amazing but with that comes the fear and self-doubt that always accompanies the unfamiliar for me. That’s okay too. It is in such moments that true growth occurs. While part of me wishes I could feel nothing but the good stuff, I know that there is no honesty in that.
Today, I am willing to feel and face my fears in order to embrace life’s potential and grow from the authenticity of those feelings. I don’t know how to live my life right now. EVERYTHING is unfamiliar and that is amazing and knowing that is enough.