My Vote is My Voice

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Alice

Being an independent in-home caregiver is hard. When I was working in facilities, I thought in home care would be a cakewalk in comparison. Less physical work, a little more money and most important, plenty of one on one time…what’s the downside?
At the time I made the change, I was emotionally, physically and mentally burned out. Eight years in the same facility was enough. I had stuck it out through numerous owners, administrators and managers. For my folks, I stayed despite the abysmal wages, supply shortages and poor leadership until I realized one morning that I was sleep walking through a job that at one point I genuinely loved. It was then that I knew it was time to go. Without passion, there was little I could do to improve the situation, so when the opportunity arose, I made the leap. I didn’t consider the fact that different does not necessarily mean easier.
“This is one rabbit hole I never imagined falling through!”, I thought to myself as I pulled into work…under the confederate flag…next to a campaign sign proudly announcing support for he-who-must-not-be-named. Sigh. They know not what they do. I took a deep breath and readied myself as I unlocked the door. Nowhere in my job description does it list agreeing politically as a necessity.
Private care is a very small world. It’s just my client, her husband and I for the most part. Oh! And twelve hours of talk radio coupled with the never ending news cycle. Every hour on the hour, some group calls ranting about doomsday scenarios if a “liberal” enters the Oval Office. They are going to take down Christianity! They are helping ISIS! They are going to take your guns! Buy gold! The banks are going to crash! Blah blah blah GEORGE SOROS!…I had to google that one. The robocalls and pamphlets my folks get everyday in the mail had me half convinced he was a devil zombie monster beast. Turns out he’s a business magnate who invests and supports progressive causes. I mean, the Koch brothers do the same thing for conservatives. I never thought they were the antichrist. All of this angry and paranoid rhetoric makes me incredibly uncomfortable. The never ending phone calls and fear mongering feels very predatory. They are preying on the fear of the most vulnerable among us.
Hell, how can they NOT be uneasy? I’m a life long democrat in the prime of my life and I find myself stressed out after twelve hours of constant screaming about all the reasons we should be angry and scared. What can I expect out of my client, who is unwell and grew up with these thoughts instilled in her. I know they will be voting against their own interests out of fear, though it’s not my place to tell them so. I mainly listen to their fears, bite my tongue and try unsuccessfully to change the subject.
Still, as uncomfortable as this environment currently is for me, in many ways it’s been very beneficial. Politics aside, I love these people. They have opened up their hearts and make me feel very much a part of the family unit. They trust me and let me know in their own way that I am very valued. My client’s husband actively helps others in a variety of ways and though his occasional impatience with her disability vexes me, I have no doubt whatsoever that he loves her deeply. They have two very dedicated daughters and once a week, I cook a family dinner for everyone. The house is full of love and laughter on those days. Those are the moments that remind me that we are multi-faceted people. We needn’t define or be defined solely by our political points of view. As human beings, we are so much more dynamic than that. It’s easy to forget something so simple. It’s hard for me to see past that at times. Then I realize that I get up in arms over politics while my client handles with grace the fact that she is completely dependent on others to accomplish tasks that I take for granted every day. That puts it in perspective for me.
I will vote silently for the candidate who will do the most to protect those in my care and I will do my best to alleviate and redirect their fears. That is my role and it is so much more important than proclaiming loudly how very right I am on such issues. This election season, more than any other, compassion must trump ego. I will walk the walk and allow my vote to talk.