In my last post I talked about the value of good work partners. For a caregiver employed in LTC, working with a good crew can make even the most difficult situations tolerable. A healthy and happy work environment isn’t really sustainable without making some effort to maintain a positive working relationship with your fellow caregivers.
In this job, you really do have to take care of the people around you. This includes an awareness of your coworkers’ needs and circumstances. Yes, we are there for the residents, but when we neglect or mistreat our work mates, we are poisoning our own work environment and this will inevitably impact the people who live there. I’ve known some aides that had some great qualities as caregivers, but couldn’t keep their mouths shut when it came to what they perceived as the inadequacies of other workers. Rather than simply dismiss fellow caregivers as unworthy of the work, how much more effective it would have been had they offered their assistance without judgement when they saw a need and perhaps through their actions provide a better example of how to approach the job.
In my current daily routine with Claire, I am blessed with a great work partner: my 4 ½ year-old granddaughter, Aubrey. From a caregiver’s perspective, Aubrey would be considered a part of my “case load.” Indeed, she does demand considerable time and attention – and she can be quite a distraction for Claire. But she also assists me in ways both big and small. In fact, when it comes to Claire’s care and training, she can do some things much better that I can.
Like my old work partner Russ at the Veterans’ Home, Aubrey is very familiar with our care routines and habits, and she knows when to jump in and help. Most of the time, she’ll do this without direction from me. If I’m involved in some task away from Claire and she gets fussy, Aubrey is right there to give her sister a pacifier or entertain her with a toy until I’m able to focus on Claire again.
Whenever I’m engaged in an activity with Claire, I always make sure that Aubrey has the opportunity to participate if she chooses. Just as Russ and I complemented each other with our differing approaches to our residents, Aubrey adds a quality to the activity that I am unable to provide. Claire simply has more fun and stays engaged longer if Aubrey joins us.
Of course, I often have to redirect to keep both girls on task, but I try to do this by example and not through verbal correction. Sometimes the structure of the activity breaks down entirely, overwhelmed by sisterly chaos and mirth. That’s okay, at that point, we just move on to something else.
When Aubrey chooses to occupy herself in parallel play, she can still be extremely helpful. In our effort to correct Claire’s dominant tendency to arch her back as a means of mobility, we do a lot of floor work in which we try to keep her focus forward. Sometimes this is simply a matter of sitting her on the floor, placing her favorite toys in front of her, and having her reach for them. If Aubrey is playing nearby, I always try to orient Claire toward her sister with the toys in between. To Claire, Aubrey is the most fascinating thing in the world and she’s more motivated to sustain her forward focus when her sister is in front of her.
Like any work partnership, this is a two-way street. One of Aubrey’s favorite activities is taking care of her babies. When I’m busy with Claire, Aubrey is busy with her “group.” This consists of one or usually several “Baby Alive” dolls, most of which are capable of some bodily function.
Aubrey takes her care activities very seriously and I am obligated to pay proper respect to her efforts and assist her when necessary. Sometimes this means I have to stop what I’m doing with Claire to help Aubrey put some article of clothing on one of the dolls or take a turn feeding one of them or perhaps help search for some microscopic toy part of critical importance. Other times, it can mean turning off the music and tip-toeing around the house, because it’s nap time for her babies.
Here, I was rightfully chastised for taking a photo that happened to show in the background her changing her baby (“You DON”T do that!). I duly apologized for the indiscretion:
Clearly, it would be a mistake for me to dismiss Aubrey’s play concerns as frivolous. If I want her cooperation with what I do with Claire, then she should be able to depend on me to do the same for her group – whatever that may consist of from day to day. That is what good work partners do.
There is something else going on here. Aubrey will often use her babies to imitate my activities with Claire. She’s learning by watching and doing, developing skills that will serve her for a lifetime. In a very real sense, I’m training her as much as I’m training Claire. And while Aubrey does not yet grasp the meaning of Claire’s ACC, she is already learning some valuable lessons on how to treat it. As both girls grow, Aubrey will have more influence on her sister’s development than any of us.
In a couple months, I will be losing my valued work partner. Having recently graduated from preschool, Aubrey will be attending full-day kindergarten this fall. While this will leave me more time to work with Claire, I’m really going to miss my little work partner.